19 October, 2025
political-differences-strain-friendship-over-lodging-arrangements

A long-standing friendship is facing challenges due to conflicting political views between acquaintances. A reader, known as “Avoidant Out West,” has expressed discomfort regarding her friend Barbara’s other guest, Helene, whose political beliefs starkly contrast with her own. This situation has prompted the reader to reconsider her lodging arrangements during her visits to Barbara’s home.

The reader typically stays at Barbara’s residence during her visits to the town, which occur a few times each year. However, the increased presence of Helene, who visits more frequently, has led to a growing tension. Avoidant Out West finds Helene’s political views offensive, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere that has made her contemplate alternative accommodation.

In her letter, Avoidant Out West questions how to approach Barbara without causing offense. Barbara remains steadfast in her belief that Helene does not hold extremist views, despite the reader’s concerns and the evident political divide. The reader is caught between her loyalty to Barbara and her discomfort around Helene.

Abigail Van Buren, known for her advice column “Dear Abby,” suggests that it might be time for Avoidant Out West to have an honest conversation with Barbara. She advises the reader to express her feelings regarding Helene’s views and to request that Barbara inform her in advance if Helene will be present during her visits. This way, Avoidant Out West can make arrangements to stay elsewhere, if necessary.

The situation highlights the impact of political divisions on personal relationships, particularly in a time when such differences can lead to significant discomfort among friends. As societal polarization grows, the need for open dialogue about differing beliefs becomes increasingly important.

For those navigating similar dilemmas, it may be helpful to communicate openly about boundaries and comfort levels within friendships. Ultimately, maintaining a respectful and understanding approach can help preserve relationships even when disagreements arise.

Readers can find more advice and insights from Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com. The column was founded by Pauline Phillips, with her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, continuing the legacy of offering guidance on personal matters.