A recent letter to the advice column “Dear Abby” highlights a troubling domestic situation that escalated over a seemingly simple matter: a fast-food order. The writer, referred to as “Takeout in Ohio,” described how her husband’s obsessive control over the ordering process led to a heated argument. This incident has raised broader questions about emotional abuse and control in long-term relationships.
The conflict arose when the husband insisted on verifying the prices of each item during a phone order. When there was a discrepancy of approximately $5 from the online menu, he reacted angrily. “Just forget it!” he exclaimed, which prompted the writer to cancel the order entirely. She expressed frustration, stating that her husband’s behavior is controlling and emotionally abusive. After over 40 years of marriage, she feels exhausted and trapped, particularly as she has struggled with health issues, including a stroke that affects her ability to calculate prices quickly.
In her letter, she emphasized the impracticality of questioning fast-food staff, especially during busy periods when they are short-staffed. She underscored that their financial situation is stable, so cost should not be an issue. Despite her attempts to discuss the matter with her husband, he dismissed her concerns, claiming she only wanted to be right.
In response, Abigail Van Buren, the columnist behind “Dear Abby,” advised “Takeout in Ohio” to let her husband handle future orders himself. She suggested that he could dictate the prices to her if he required her assistance. Van Buren further noted that if financial disagreements are a recurring theme in their marriage, they might benefit from marriage counseling, highlighting that divorce could prove costlier than seeking help.
Another letter in the same column drew attention to workplace discrimination. A reader, identified as “Kevin H. in California,” commented on a previous letter regarding a mother whose transgender adult child faced mockery from a co-worker. Kevin urged the mother to report such behavior to a supervisor or human resources, emphasizing that such actions are unacceptable in modern workplaces.
In her reply, Van Buren acknowledged the feedback she received regarding the terminology used for transgender individuals. She admitted to previously using the outdated term “gender identity disorder,” which has been replaced with “gender dysphoria” in the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM-5. This acknowledgment reflects the ongoing evolution of language surrounding gender identity and the importance of sensitivity in discussions about such topics.
“Dear Abby” has been a long-standing source of advice since its inception, founded by Pauline Phillips and continued by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips. Readers can contact the column via its official website or through traditional mail.
The letters reveal significant social issues regarding domestic relationships and workplace conduct, shedding light on the emotional struggles many individuals face in their personal and professional lives. The responses provided by Van Buren serve as a reminder of the importance of open communication and support in addressing conflicts, whether at home or in the workplace.
