23 January, 2026
emotional-wedding-hair-dilemma-professional-vs-amateur-stylist

A hairstylist with over three decades of experience is grappling with feelings of disappointment after discovering that her niece plans to have an amateur do her wedding hair. The situation unfolded when the bride’s mother, the stylist’s sister-in-law, initially requested the professional’s services for the upcoming wedding scheduled in two months.

The stylist, who has dedicated 37 years to her craft, was excited to contribute to her niece’s special day. However, approximately one month ago, she learned that another niece, who lacks professional experience in hairstyling, had offered to do the bride’s hair. This niece, along with her best friend, aims to establish a wedding planning service and sees this as an opportunity to gain experience.

Feeling hurt and undervalued, the professional hairstylist reached out to the advice column “Dear Abby,” seeking guidance on how to cope with her feelings of rejection.

In her response, Abigail Van Buren, known as Jeanne Phillips, offered a pragmatic perspective. She asked whether the bride had accepted the amateur’s offer. If so, she suggested the stylist focus on the outcome instead of dwelling on her emotions. Phillips emphasized that if the amateur’s work does not meet the bride’s expectations on such an important day, the seasoned stylist should be prepared to step in and offer her professional assistance.

The incident highlights the tension that can arise within families when personal and professional relationships intersect. For many, weddings represent a culmination of planning and emotional investment that can amplify feelings of disappointment and insecurity.

As the wedding date approaches, the hairstylist faces a unique challenge: navigating familial dynamics while also remaining available for her niece should the need arise for a professional touch. This scenario underscores the complexities of family relationships, especially when professional skills and personal ties intersect in significant life events.

The story, shared through the “Dear Abby” column, reflects broader themes about the value of professional expertise versus amateur enthusiasm in high-stakes situations. It serves as a reminder that while family support is essential, the quality of service, especially on a wedding day, often demands a level of experience that only seasoned professionals can provide.

Readers can find more insights and guidance from “Dear Abby” at www.DearAbby.com.