As individuals age, they may find themselves more emotionally expressive, leading to an uptick in tears. Dr. Tom Dorsel, a retired professor of psychology, shares his reflections on this emotional phenomenon, particularly in the context of aging. He notes that an old friend, who has known him since first grade, has recently expressed concern about his frequent crying—whether triggered by memories, current events, or even a patriotic song.
Approaching the age of 80, this former athlete questions whether his emotional responses indicate something amiss. Dr. Dorsel suggests that as cognitive functions decline, the ability to inhibit emotions may also diminish, allowing for more spontaneous expressions of feeling. “Life will break your heart,” he notes, emphasizing that with age comes a deeper understanding of sorrow and joy.
Rediscovering the Gift of Tears
In a poignant observation, Dr. Dorsel proposes that crying in old age might be a divine gift. He suggests that as people transition through life, they may find themselves increasingly permitted to express their emotions openly. This notion resonates with the idea that we enter the world crying and may exit in a similar manner, reflecting on the cyclical nature of human experience.
Historical figures, including Pope Pius XII, have commented on the relief that tears can provide. Pope John Paul II, known for his public displays of emotion, often cried during his later years, which many interpreted as a reflection of his own grappling with the challenges facing the Church as he aged.
Crying and Connection in a Digital Age
Dr. Dorsel contrasts the emotional richness of face-to-face interactions with the detached nature of modern communication. In an era dominated by emails and text messages, individuals may find it easier to suppress their emotions. The ability to express genuine sadness in person, he argues, is a profound gift that fosters deeper connections.
He recalls a piece from Notre Dame Magazine, where author Mel Livatino discusses “the look of love.” Livatino highlights the rarity of this expression in everyday encounters, and the importance of recognizing and reciprocating such emotional exchanges. In a world where digital communication often prevails, the warmth of human connection remains a valuable experience.
Dr. Dorsel believes that as individuals confront the inevitability of death, they may leave behind the sorrows of life for a realm filled with love. He envisions a vision of heaven where the “looks of love” are ever-present, reinforcing the idea that God embodies love itself.
In sharing these insights, Dr. Dorsel encourages a renewed appreciation for the emotions we experience, particularly as we age. Embracing our capacity to cry and connect with others can enrich our lives, reminding us that vulnerability is not a weakness but rather an essential aspect of our humanity.
Dr. Tom Dorsel, who resides in Pinehurst and Hilton Head, is a former faculty member at Francis Marion University and has authored the best-selling book, “GOLF: The Mental Game.” He continues to engage with audiences through his writings and social media.
