25 October, 2025
friend-regrets-leaving-drunk-companion-alone-after-party-incident

A young woman’s 21st birthday celebration took an unsettling turn after her friend left her at a party while she was intoxicated. The incident raises important questions about personal responsibility and safety when consuming alcohol.

According to a letter submitted to R. Eric Thomas, a popular advice columnist, the writer, identified as “First One to Leave,” expressed regret over their decision to leave their friend alone at the party. Although the friend initially seemed to be enjoying herself, she was visibly drunk by the time the writer departed around 10 p.m.. The following day, the friend contacted the writer from an unfamiliar man’s house, expressing distress about the situation.

Assessing Responsibility and Safety

The letter highlights a common concern among young adults regarding the balance between independence and safety during social gatherings. While there is an expectation for individuals to act responsibly as adults, the potential dangers of alcohol consumption can lead to impaired judgment.

Thomas responded to the letter, acknowledging the seriousness of the situation. He emphasized the importance of discussing complex feelings surrounding such experiences, regardless of whether they appear to be significant. “There’s a lot of daylight between ‘a big problem’ and ‘no big deal,’” he noted, suggesting that ongoing conversations with friends or a school counselor can be beneficial.

In his advice, Thomas recommended implementing a “buddy system” when drinking. He stated that while the writer’s choice to leave was not inherently wrong, it is crucial to ensure that friends are not left alone when they are unable to make sound decisions. “A person alone, with impaired judgment, can be preyed upon,” he cautioned.

Making Considerate Choices

Thomas also acknowledged that friends may express frustration when being escorted home against their wishes, yet he emphasized that ensuring their safety should always take priority. He urged, “A friend who is safely nursing their hangover in their own home the next morning will thank you.”

As young adults navigate social situations involving alcohol, Thomas encouraged them to be mindful of their own limits and to consider alternatives to drinking. “Neither of you has to drink in order to have fun,” he remarked, highlighting the importance of making informed choices when it comes to alcohol consumption.

As this situation illustrates, the decisions made during social gatherings can have lasting consequences. Open discussions about safety and responsibility can help mitigate risks and foster a more supportive environment among friends.

For those facing similar dilemmas, reaching out to trusted friends or professional resources can provide valuable guidance. R. Eric Thomas is available for additional questions via email at [email protected] or through his website at rericthomas.com.