In a recent letter to the advice column “Dear Abby,” a concerned parent expressed distress over their 23-year-old son, Ed, who appears to be changing his lifestyle after beginning a relationship with a girlfriend named Emily. The mother noted that Ed, previously committed to fitness and healthy living, now seems neglectful of his health and personal hygiene.
The mother described Ed as once being clean-cut, dedicated to working out, and mindful of his diet. He regularly attended the gym and took pride in his appearance. However, since dating Emily, who has been characterized as significantly overweight and lacking in personal hygiene, the mother is alarmed by Ed’s transformation. She pointed out that he has not cut his hair in over two years and seems less motivated to maintain his fitness regime.
In her letter, she recounted specific incidents involving Emily’s behavior, including finding her lingerie left around the house and experiencing discomfort with her lack of cleanliness. The mother suggested that Ed needs to address these issues with Emily, feeling that the relationship is negatively impacting his identity and values.
Jeanne Phillips, the writer behind “Dear Abby,” responded to the concerns by urging the mother to reconsider her approach. Phillips emphasized that Ed is responsible for his own choices and changes, rather than attributing them solely to Emily. She suggested that if the son still lives at home, it would be appropriate for his father to have a candid conversation with him, rather than the mother directly addressing Emily’s habits.
Phillips also mentioned that if Ed and Emily live together, providing a hamper for their household could be a more constructive way to address hygiene issues. She reinforced that while Emily’s habits may not align with Ed’s previous lifestyle, it is ultimately Ed’s choice how to navigate his relationship.
In a separate letter, another reader, who identified herself as “Wondering in Washington,” sought advice regarding a secret from her past. She disclosed that she had eloped with her husband in Las Vegas before having a formal wedding ceremony in California, a detail she has kept hidden from her two adult daughters.
Having been married for 56 years before her husband passed away three years ago, she questioned whether she should reveal the truth about their elopement. Phillips reassured her that having a secret from youth does not diminish the validity of their love story. She advised against destroying the Las Vegas marriage certificate, suggesting instead that it be kept secure until her passing.
“Dear Abby” is a long-standing advice column founded by Pauline Phillips and currently written by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips. Readers can connect with “Dear Abby” through its official website or postal address.
Both letters exemplify the complexities of personal relationships and the challenges parents face when observing changes in their children. Whether dealing with lifestyle shifts or secrets from the past, the advice provided by “Dear Abby” encourages open communication and personal reflection.
