Millennial fathers are redefining parenting roles as they strive for a more equitable division of family responsibilities. In an informal survey conducted by Business Insider, millennial dads across the United States shared their experiences balancing childcare with their careers. These fathers are eager to be more present in their children’s lives, but the pursuit of a 50/50 split in parenting duties often brings challenges.
In the survey, which garnered responses from over two dozen fathers in just 48 hours, many expressed their struggles to juggle work commitments alongside parenting. A notable finding from a 2016 Pew Research study revealed that fathers now spend an average of eight hours per week on childcare—triple the amount recorded in 1965. This significant increase reflects a cultural shift toward more hands-on fatherhood.
Challenges of Modern Fatherhood
Fathers shared their insights on the difficulties of striving to “have it all.” Nicholas Gilpin, a 38-year-old entrepreneur and stay-at-home dad from Fair Oaks, California, highlighted the overwhelming nature of modern parenting. “I want to support my family financially, nurture a business I believe in, and be fully present with my kids, but doing all three well at once is nearly impossible without burning out,” he stated.
Similarly, Joshua Harville, a 35-year-old real estate agent from Fort Worth, Texas, described the continuous balancing act of family and professional life. “It’s a grind, and a balance, and a helping hand from our parents every once in a while,” he explained. The pressures of maintaining a demanding career while being an active participant in their children’s lives can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
The experiences of these fathers are echoed by others, such as Michael Schmutz, a 39-year-old marketing consultant and father of four from Salt Lake City, Utah. He noted the necessity of an early morning routine to accommodate both his career and family commitments. “I have to wake up early to train, have all my food prepped, and then be ready to be a dad by 16:00 most days,” he detailed.
Shifting Responsibilities
The survey also explored how parenting responsibilities are shared between partners. Gilpin reported that he manages about 70-80% of daily parenting tasks during the weekdays, with his partner contributing more in the evenings and on weekends. In contrast, Harville indicated that his partner’s breastfeeding responsibilities mean he takes on around 35% of the duties.
Others, like Jason Schilling, a 41-year-old head of assurance services from Minneapolis, Minnesota, emphasized the need for late nights and early mornings to attend to his children’s events. “Making sure I get to all of my kids’ events and appointments requires a lot of sacrifice,” he explained.
For some, the work-life balance is further complicated by the demands of their jobs. Ben McChesney, a 41-year-old IT manager from Chicago, Illinois, reflected on the challenges he faced while working as a teacher. “I put my career on hold to better balance time with my children,” he shared, having switched to a job that allowed him more flexibility.
The survey also revealed varied opinions about workplace flexibility. Several respondents expressed that their jobs did not provide enough support to pursue their parenting aspirations fully. Gilpin, currently unemployed and building his own business, cited the tension between work and family life. “There’s no formal support, no paid time off, and a constant tension between working on the business and taking care of the kids,” he remarked.
Ultimately, millennial fathers are navigating a complex landscape of modern parenthood. While they are committed to changing perceptions around fatherhood and increasing their involvement, the journey often proves to be challenging. The insights shared by these dads highlight the ongoing struggle to balance work and family, a task that continues to evolve with each new generation.
