URGENT UPDATE: New insights from parenting experts emphasize the critical need for parents to acknowledge their own emotions for the well-being of their children. In their groundbreaking book, “Parents Have Feelings, Too,” authors Hilary Jacobs Hendel and Dr. Juli Fraga reveal how addressing parental emotions can ultimately foster healthier emotional development in kids.
The conversation around parenting often prioritizes children’s feelings, but experts assert that parental emotions are equally important. “Emotions affect us every day and often get us into trouble,” Hendel explains, underscoring the need for parents to confront and navigate their own emotional landscapes. This approach is crucial not only for personal well-being but for fostering a nurturing environment for children.
A key tool introduced in the book is the Change Triangle, designed to help parents identify and process their emotions, including anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, and excitement. This model encourages parents to shift from defensive reactions to a more authentic engagement with their feelings, leading to healthier family dynamics.
Hendel warns that unaddressed anger can lead to destructive outcomes, transforming into depression or anxiety. “When we teach emotions education, it’s to understand it as a two-step process,” she states. Parents are encouraged to experience their emotions internally before deciding how to express them constructively.
This crucial conversation also highlights that dads experience emotions, such as anxiety and shame, often overlooked in parenting discussions. Dr. Fraga asserts that it is essential for fathers to recognize and validate their emotional experiences to break free from unhealthy defenses.
Why does this matter RIGHT NOW? In an age where mental health is paramount, understanding and processing parental emotions can significantly impact children’s emotional health. As Hendel and Fraga emphasize, parents who navigate their feelings can build deeper connections with their children, creating a safe space for them to express their emotions without fear of shame or judgment.
Common myths surrounding emotions suggest they are controllable through sheer willpower. However, experts clarify that emotions are natural responses designed to enable survival and adaptive behavior. “Core emotions originate in the subcortical part of the brain, not in areas under our conscious control,” Hendel explains. Recognizing this fact is vital for parents aiming to improve their emotional intelligence.
The Change Triangle assists parents in transitioning from emotional distress to a state of calm and connection, encouraging a better understanding of their children’s emotional states. By mastering this tool, parents can mitigate triggers and enhance their relationships with their children, ultimately fostering secure attachments.
The authors advocate for parents to engage with joy, noting that if they struggle to experience joy in their own lives, it can hinder their ability to celebrate their children’s successes. Simple practices, such as gratitude exercises, can help parents reconnect with joy, benefiting both their well-being and that of their children.
It is never too late for parents to become emotionally savvy. Dr. Fraga emphasizes the power of neuroplasticity – the brain’s ability to rewire itself – allowing individuals to change their emotional responses and improve their parenting skills at any stage in life.
As emotional awareness becomes increasingly relevant in modern parenting, experts highlight that understanding one’s feelings is foundational to raising emotionally healthy children.
Parents are encouraged to embrace this journey, not only for their own growth but to ensure their children develop the emotional skills necessary for thriving in today’s complex world.
Stay connected for more insights on emotional well-being and parenting strategies that can make a profound difference in family dynamics.
