A married couple’s struggle over natural bodily functions has become a topic of discussion in the popular advice column, Dear Abby. A woman, referred to as “Blamed in Canada,” has expressed her frustration with her husband, who exhibits anger and panic as her menstrual cycle approaches. The issue raises questions about marital dynamics and communication.
Wife’s Concerns Over Husband’s Reaction
In a letter to the column, “Blamed in Canada” described how her husband pressures her for intimacy when he is home, despite her feelings during her menstrual cycle. With only four nights each week together due to his work travel, he becomes upset when they cannot be intimate. This behavior has led to him pouting and distancing himself when they are unable to connect physically.
The wife highlighted her husband’s claims that she “doesn’t make time for him,” despite his own commitments that often see him out late volunteering. She emphasized that her schedule, beginning at 6:30 a.m., makes it challenging to accommodate his needs, particularly when she is already feeling fatigued.
In her letter, she questioned whether it is fair for her husband to feel angry about something that is a natural part of her body. The emotional toll of these interactions has left her feeling blamed and unsupported.
Advice from Dear Abby
In response, Abigail Van Buren, who writes under the pen name Jeanne Phillips, offered a candid assessment of the situation. She described the husband’s behavior as that of an “ignorant bully” and emphasized the importance of mutual respect in marriage. She pointed out that it is not the wife’s “duty” to ensure his satisfaction, particularly when his late-night activities contribute to their limited time together.
She recommended that the couple seek the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist to address their communication issues. Van Buren asserted that intimacy in marriage should be a consensual act that fosters connection rather than a source of frustration.
This exchange highlights the complex dynamics that can arise in long-term relationships, particularly regarding physical intimacy and emotional support. The situation illustrates the need for open dialogue between partners to navigate challenges effectively.
In another letter, a widow from Texas, referred to as “Lost for Now,” sought guidance after losing her husband to cancer five months earlier. She expressed feelings of deep sorrow and uncertainty about her future, questioning whether she would find love again.
Van Buren expressed sympathy for her loss and advised her to focus on self-care and rebuilding her social connections. She suggested engaging in physical activities and volunteering to meet new people, thereby improving her chances of finding companionship in the future.
These letters demonstrate the broader themes of love, communication, and the challenges of navigating relationships during difficult times. The insights provided by Dear Abby continue to resonate with readers, reminding them of the importance of empathy and understanding in both joyous and challenging moments of life.
